Coulter: How to protect your money from the "Obamunists"

From Ann Coulter:

Dear Fellow Conservative,

Despite recent setbacks, the free-market revolution unleashed by Ronald Reagan continues to make strides in country after country.

Unfortunately, those countries don't include the United States.

Here, the trend is towards what has been dubbed "Obamunism," which, if coined by one of his czars, was surely meant as a compliment. This same economic philosophy used to be known as Carternomics, described by Reagan as: "If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. If it stops moving, subsidize it."

But back to the good news ...

Surprisingly, the latest country to show signs of new economic freedom is, of all places, Cuba -- where, according to the Washington Post, "The Cuban government, in its most dramatic reform since [Raul] Castro took over for his ailing older brother Fidel three years ago, is offering private farmers ... the use of fallow state lands to grow crops -- for a profit."

In fact, it's working so well, they're even thinking about renaming "The Bay of Pigs" to "The Bay of Capitalist Pigs" ... But I digress ...

Even more surprisingly, the Post didn't include some derogatory qualifier before the word "profits" in the sentence quoted above, perhaps having recently noticed the desirability of "profits" on account of the absence of such a concept from the Post's balance sheet. It's so bad over there, the Washington Post's Facebook account was recently de-friended by the IRS Fan Page.

Maybe U.S. pharmaceutical companies should think about relocating to Cuba. Just being awarded Fidel Castro's personal prescription benefit account would be worth a small fortune.

Of course, the Cubans don't call what they're doing "capitalism," just as Obama doesn't call what he's doing "socialism" -- and just as Ralph Nadar doesn't call his hair "Bird's Nestism," Joe Biden's doctor doesn't call his condition "Diarrhea of the Mouth-ism," Nancy Pelosi's plastic surgeon doesn't call her "his annuity," and Arnold Schwarzenegger doesn't call it, well, I couldn't really understand what he said ...

Instead, Raul Castro is calling it "the new Socialist model." (If they were smart, they would focus on the newest Eastern European models -- but enough about Charlie Sheen.) Which is almost as Orwellian as Barack Obama calling his proposed government takeover of one-sixth of the American economy as an attempt to "foster competition."

And it's not just communist countries like Cuba, China, and Vietnam, noticing the benefits of the free market. Even godless, European social welfare states are throwing off the shackles of socialism. Despite incessant claims that the "rest of the world hates us," Germany just elected a center-right coalition that promised to slash taxes, entitlements, and regulatory burdens on businesses.

Every country in the world is becoming more like America, except America, which is becoming more like Finland.

But don't move to Cuba yet! At least wait until Nancy Pelosi's husband buys property there -- then you know it will prosper. As Ronald Reagan said: You can always trust the American people. Sure, they make stupid mistakes now and then, but, if history is a guide, the backlash to the high tax/low growth policies of a Democratic House, Democratic Senate, and Democratic President should be spectacular. It's currently scheduled for November 2012, with spring training beginning in November 2010 .

Then happy days will really be here again.